A sign of Insanity...
People often say to me, that talking to yourself is a sign of insanity. And yet (as I've said before) some days, it's the only thing that keeps me sane.
While I dont talk to myself out-loud (well, not unless I'm trying to do math or something!) I do have conversations with myself in my head. And it's not a crazy thing at all. At least, not to me!
I just find that talking myself through things, and encouraging myself can get me back into a positive headspace. Writing it down helps even more. When I'm having a day and I'm feeling really crappy and lazy and I'm trying to make excuses to not do things, I sorta become 2 people. The me that is whinging about not wanting to exercise, and the me that says "All right, listen up - You have 32 days to lose 7 kgs. I dont care how impossible you think it is, I dont care if you screw up, I dont even care if you fail. I can accept failure - but I cant accept not trying. So you're gonna try. Hard. Because I know that if you dont get off your butt and do this right now, on weigh in day when you have a gain you're going to regret it. You're gonna beat yourself up over it. And I'm not letting that happen. You're going to get up, and you're going to do this. NOW." And you know what? I do. It's self-talk like that that reminds me why I'm here, and what I have to do to get to where I want to be. It's that simple. The usual "I cant be bothered" me VS. the "personal-trainer/better-judgement" me. When it comes down to it, I can talk myself into feeling motivated. I could probably talk myself into just about anything if I tried. I dont care if it's a sign of insanity. Because if insanity is what makes me focus and stay positive, then insanity is what I want.
That said, I am expecting a gain on Monday, and I am ok with that. Simply because things arent as organised as what they were last week. We're starting to move boxes into the new place tomorrow, but probably wont be completely moved out until nearer the end of next week. The painters are still doing touch-ups, the builders are still doing the fence, the railing on the balcony has to be put up, the curtains havent arrived yet, and I think they're still doing paving and concrete as well. So there's a bit of a hold up. Even once we're moved in, there will still be guys there finishing up jobs. That should make my life interesting!
As I'm typing this, I'm sitting in my room surrounded by stacks of boxes. I'm actually pretty much living out of boxes now (and will be for at least the next 5 days). I've moved about 12 times in my life, and I actually like it...It's fun, and I like the change. But on the other hand, this time around it's disrupting my plans and I just want to get it over and done with so that my life can get back in order. I need to get my stuff organised, and I badly want my gym equipment set up properly so I can get into it. I really want to not have to worry about anything else, so that I can spend the next few months focusing primarily on weight loss. I'm not working at the moment, so I want to make the most of it while I can. Health (mental and physical!), fitness and weight loss is gonna be my priority. I know exactly what I want/need to do, I've created a challenge for myself, and I have a "Reward Points" system planned. It's just a matter of getting it underway! It's all very exciting and weight-loss-game-ish (Haha) and I'm looking forward to the challenge.
Roll on moving day!
